McDonald’s Doesn’t Serve Water and I Think That’s a Problem?

There is nothing that reminds you you’re not rich more than when it comes time to move apartments and you don’t want to spend money to have someone do it for you. It must be nice not to worry about that, but me? I got things to pay for. So there I was all last week shlepping my shit up and down flights of stairs over and over again like an elevator that doesn’t exist because I’m not rich.†

After 12+ hours of hard labor, my girlfriend and I were as sweaty and exhausted as two people can be. Absolutely doggin’ it. We’re hungry, smelly and needed something in our belly. We both had a hankering for McDonald’s, so off we went to continue our poor lifestyle.

Since everything was packed away, I hadn’t been hydrating properly throughout my forced workout, so I was parched, very parched. Like, possibly borderline medically concerning type of parched. As I pulled up to the yellow arches I could feel the ice water touching my lips and I got a little more excited than I should have. I was hungry too, so when I got inside I ordered a Big Mac, the classic was to hate yourself later.

I received my cup and immediately made my way to the soft-drink area where I desperately searched for the water. Then I found out the hard way that McDonald’s doesn’t serve water, and I think that’s a problem.


I actually thought my depleted brain was playing tricks on me. How can McDonald’s not serve water? The literal source of life on planet earth and the makeup of most living organisms? Can’t make room for that on the lineup? Even though it’s free?

Absolutely dumbfounded. Of course I marched right up to the counter and demanded their sink water which did not live up the hype I had played in my head. It stinks being poor.

Also, it’s definitely a problem that the majority of Americans consuming McDonald’s are doing so by washing it down with liquid sugar. The least you can do to spare yourself is drink water when you eat fast food, but nope, McDonald’s is here to kill you and it’s gonna taste delicious while you do it.

What’s even more criminal? The fact they did away with their pumpable ketchup. They provided me only with packets which does NOT provide the same level of satisfaction. First you gotta squeeze it into the corner of your plate then spread it around with fries until you run out, and it’s not as cold. It sucks being poor.


Also, at this point can I even care enough to question why my lettuce had pink dots in it? Nope, way too hungry for that.


But this water thing is actually an issue. I think it should actually be criminal not to serve water when you live in a part of the world where you are perfectly capable to serve water. McDonald’s, you’re not that poor, I am!!!!

But hey, at least they have fresh beef balloons!


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