Longshot’s Feelin Fine in Week Nine NFL Picks

Sorry this is a little late and it comes last second, but I’ll make it worth your while. If you stuck with me last week you would have went 5-for-5 and have been a millionaire. And again I don’t charge for my services while a lot of people that give out worse picks are profiting off their nonsense. You can feel free to make a donation to the John Sunday Drinking Fund and Venmo me some money after you win this week. Here’s a few games that I think Vegas fucked up on and you can make them pay.


1: Kansas City -8 At Cleveland

The Browns started the season strong. In week one they tied the Steelers and in the second week the took the Saints all the way down to the wire and lost by just a field goal. They even beat the Ravens in week five. They had a lot of people thinking that maybe they righted the ship and were a couple pieces away from having a good ball club. Well this past week the city of Cleveland was off their meds for a couple days and fired both their NBA and NFL coaches in a head scratching move.

The keys to the Brown’s franchise were given to Gregg Williams, a guy that many people thought lost his license down in the bayou. Normally teams play their hardest when they have an interim coach, but I don’t see this happening against on of the NFL top teams in the Chiefs. The Cleveland defense is stout, but the Chief offense might just be too much to handle. Pat Mahomes leads the league in TD passes and passing yards. Look for the Chiefs to impose their will and the eight points they are giving the Browns definitely will not be enough.

Final Score: Chiefs 31 Browns 20


2: At Baltimore -2.5 Pittsburgh

We’re gonna stay with the AFC North for this pick. The Ravens are 4-4 and are coming off a blowout by the Panthers. Baltimore has lost three of their last four games, but are somehow a favorite in this game against a Steelers team that’s on a three game win streak. Granted the Ravens came out on top 26-14 over the Steelers at Pittsburgh in week four, but the fact of the matter is that these are two different teams from then and trending in opposite directions.

This game is going to come down to the wire and will feature a No. 1 Raven defense vs a No. 4 Steeler offense. I think it comes down to whoever can make a play late in the game. I trust Big Ben over Joe Flacco with the game on the line. Mix that with the fact that Pittsburgh is getting points and it makes it easier to take the Steelers in a close one.

Final Score: Steelers 24 Ravens 23


3: At Denver -1 Houston

The Houston Texans started the season 0-3 and even lost to those bum Giants. Don’t look now but their on a fucking tear and are on a five game win streak. Deshaun Watson threw for five touchdowns last week and looks like he has now shaken that ACL tear that ended his season last year.

The Broncos are a fucking mess right now. They’ve lost 5-of-6 games and look like they just need to hit the reset button. I can’t fathom why the hell they would be favored in this game. Especially given the fact that they just traded away their best receiver, Demaryius Thomas, to the Texans. This dude probably spent all week spilling the beans on the Bronco’s playbook, packages, tendencies, routine, diet, gossip and whatever else that Texans team wanted to know. I’m guessing that the guy spent just as much time learning the Houston playbook as teaching the Denver one. I don’t see this game being too close. The only thing that the Broncos have going for them is the fact that this game is in Denver and they are .500 in Mile High this season. Take the Texans and the points.

Final Score: Texans 28 Broncos 20


4: LA Rams -2 At New Orleans

This game is going to be an NFC Championship preview. These are a couple of the best teams in the league and this game is sure to have a lot of scoring. I’m not sure why they didn’t put this game in primetime. Instead they put Brady and the Pats under the bright lights for the 100th week in-a-row. I honestly don’t remember the last time the Pats played a day game, but we digress. This game is going to feature two top 10 offenses in a probable arena type score.

I know one thing and that is I will be touching myself for the duration of this game as the new age Rams take their best shot at the old school Saints. This game is what Sundays are made for. Games like this don’t cum very often, but when they do you better take advantage. I give a slight edge to the Rams, given the fact that they’re undefeated, but it might be a risky bet giving Drew Press points at home. Fuck it. Give’em and pay close attention to this game because you will be watching it again on January 20th, but the game will be played in LA.

Final Score: Rams 40 Saints 36


5: At New England -5.5 Green Bay

Ohh snap. For the second week in a row Aaron Rodgers ain’t getting no respect. They should have beat the Rams in LA last week, but a fuckin idiot brought the ball out of the end zone on a kickoff and fumbled the game away. Don’y worry the Packers shipped his ass off to Baltimore for a 7th round pick, which is fuckin hilarious btw. That’s literally the least valuable thing you can trade for. The Ravens basically gave the Packers a buck fity and a bag of chips for Ty Montgomery. The Packer’s season is on the line and they need to win this game outright to keep up in a competitive NFC North.

That’s why Aaron Rodgers don’t need no stinkin points and the Packers win the game outright. I hope we get a Brady Rodgers shootout, which I think we will. Take the Packers and the points all fuckin day in this one.

Final Score: Packers 31 Patriots 28

Happy Sunday and I hope you guys and gals take these picks right to the bank tomorrow. Be sure to tune into Two Buttons Deep this week for a new video series that I’m starting this week titled, “Five Things I learned in the NFL This Week.” Also, if you haven’t started listening to my podcast yet I’m not sure what the fuck you’re waiting for.

Two Buttons Deep is a news & entertainment website based in upstate New York.
We don’t just post the news, we post stuff worth talking about

Visit our newsfeed, and stay up to date on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.



How do you feel?

%d bloggers like this: