If Cuomo Bans Releasing Mugshots To The Public, Where Will John Longton Find His Dates?

(TU) ALBANY — Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo has proposed banning the public disclosure of “mugshots” and “booking information” compiled by law enforcement agencies when they make arrests.

The measure, included in Cuomo’s 2020 executive budget, would declare that the release of a person’s arrest photo or other booking information would constitute an “unwanted invasion of personal privacy.”

As much as we all low key enjoy the schadenfreude of seeing people at their low points, I think this is a good idea to ban mugshots. I have never been arrested, but I’ve come close enough where I’ve had to ponder what I would do if my mugshot were to be taken. Do I put on the puppy face? Do I smirk like a jerk? Do I just straight up smile like it’s picture day? If I were to get arrested, chances are I’d be drinking, and if I’d be drinking I’d probably convince myself that a straight up smile would be best. I would wake up with terrible smilers remorse the next day in the cell.

Anyways, people pop up with mugshots each and every day to join the carousel that is the local news. But no matter the crime, it can really ruin someone’s reputation. Most people don’t have anything beyond a Facebook as an internet presence, so that mugshot is Google’s first found search when your future employer background checks you. So I agree that Governor Cuomo has New Yorker’s best interest in mind, but with that said, there will be one consequence of this that I hate to see. And that’s John Longton losing his main resource for prospecting potential dates.

Almost every week John strolls into our meeting and says “yo you see this chick?” and while most people bring up Tinder or Instagram to flex about a girl they’re talking to, John always brings up mugshots. “She’s real cute, you think I have a chance when she’s out of jail?” he’ll ramble.

You probably think I’m kidding, but I’m not. He’s written about Brittney and Karen and I would like to say it’s worked out in his favor, but not really. So far all he’s gotten is one threat to sue 2BD for spreading fake news (shocker: it was not fake news) which John took as a no to the date, and a few left-on-reads because…well…they’re in jail. So I guess it’s too early to tell if it’ll work out or not. We’ll find out in a minimum of 5 years I suppose.

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