It seems like every few months a worthy obituary makes the rounds on the internet. Sometimes it’s a bitter spouse, sometimes a funny homage to one who has passed, or sometimes it’s a journal entry about how only an idiot would let their life go up in smoke.
(Legacy) Turner, Geoffrey L. LATHAM This obituary was written by Geoff Turner who passed away on February 13, 2019. “I was an idiot who made the same stupid decision, day-after-day, multiple times per day. I was a smoker and even though I knew it may eventually kill me, I chose to deny the truth to myself. The pain and suffering I caused my family was not worth the perceived “satisfaction” that really did nothing more than waste money, separate me from my family, and eventually destroyed my body. I did many good things, helped lots of people, and even made a decent living. At 66 years old, I lived a decent life, but there are so many events and milestones I will not be able to share with my loved ones. The moral of this story – don’t be an idiot. If you’re a smoker – quit – now – your life depends on it and those that you love depend upon your life. I am survived by Josie Turner, the best wife/nurse/ friend I never deserved; my loving kids, John “Jay” (Mariana) of Centerville, Ga., Shawn, Peter (Glorimar) of San Mateo, Calif., Sarah (Robert) Huiest, and Alexis; four fantastic grandchildren, Alexander, Jacob, Dumitru, Paulina; and my brother Ted (Barbara) of Deptford, N.J. My brother Ted is five and a half years older than I am, and even though I never stood a chance we competed at everything. Jim, John, and Frank, play the next round as a threesome rotating my shot between you guys. Remember, life is good – don’t let it go up in smoke.” The family would like to extend their extreme gratitude to the outstanding team of D3N at Albany Medical Center. A celebration of life will be held on March 9, in the Community Reformed Church of Colonie, 701 Sand Creek Rd., Albany. Family and friends may visit at 10 a.m. with the service beginning at 11 a.m. In lieu of flowers, donations are encouraged to the American Cancer Society or a children’s charity of your choice.
Doesn’t get much sadder than that, folks. Cigarettes are dumb and you look dumb smoking them and you smell even worse when you come back in. What it takes for somebody to pick up the habit of smoking cigs in 2019 is truly beyond me. You can at least switch to a Juul, so when you get popcorn lung and they explode in 15 years you can at least be part of scientific research. Not just another number lost to something literally everybody told you was going to happen.