It has recently come to my attention that some people aren’t into chain restaurants and I’ve never felt more disappointed.
Having lived in Saratoga my whole life, I’ve had some pretty decent choices of restaurants to choose from: Wheatfields, Cantina, Druthers, Boca Bistro or Chiantis to name a few. In my older age, I’ve found myself going to these restaurants a lot more whether it be on dates, happy hour or just hanging with the boys. Yeah, the food is great but can I wear sweatpants to any of these places? Can I eat at these places without putting a napkin on my lap? How long is it going to take me to figure out what fork or spoon I should be using to take down my meal?
I miss the days of going to chain restaurants without being judged. As a kid, I remember being SUPER pumped to go to a Fridays, a 99s, a Red Robin, or an AppleBees. I also remember this being a special occasion as my family never really went out to eat that often, shoutout to my wonderful mother who can out cook practically anybody in the world. Suck it, Bobby Flay.
Now I know some of you might be thinking I’m a mutant but I’m actually a pretty picky eater. Outside of restaurants the only food I really trust are home cooked meals by either my mother, my Aunt Debbie, or the Italian side of the family. Every other time it’s always a 50/50 shot and to be honest I think I’m too fragile / adorable to risk a 50% chance of getting food poisoning.
Is the food the best at these chains? Not particularly. HOWEVER, it’s certainly not awful. Jack Daniels burgers are actually really good and 99s offers you popcorn the entire time you’re there. I fucking love popcorn. Oh, you like fries? How about bottomless ones at Red Robin. Have you ever had breadsticks at the Olive Garden? If you say no, with all due respect, I hate you.
I think what some people have forgotten is that before all of these fancy restaurants came around, chains is all we had. Chains are an important part of our democracy and family tradition. Let me ask you a question. Where did Ricky Bobby take his family for a nice meal on the town?
How about the Dillon Panthers and Coach Eric Taylor?
What did both of these people teach you about life? Two things.
So I guess if you want to go to your super fancy boujee restaurants go for it. I’ll be over at Applebees with the winners of the world sipping on $1 Long Island Iced teas and half-off apps. Yeah, that sounds like a good time.