RIP Water Slide World

Just when I thought I was going to have a kickass Friday, I find this shit out.

(Post Star) Water Slide World, the iconic Lake George water park that didn’t reopen last year after its founder’s death, is closed for good.

Owner Dawn Koncikowski said Thursday that she does not plan to reopen the park and is instead trying to sell the water park equipment that sits on the park property, and then sell the land.

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I haven’t been this upset in a long time. When I was a kid I went to a summer camp and we would go on field trips to all sorts of places. The one place I ALWAYS had circled was Water Slide World. To me, Water Slide World was always superior to The Great Escape. I hated heights so I would never go on roller coasters and if I went to the Great Escape I’d spend the majority of the day in wave pool anyways. If we’re being honest here, Water Slide World had the best wave pool north of the twin bridges.

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On top of this, I don’t know why, but Water Slide World would always have wicked hot European lifeguards. As a young kid going through puberty, this definitely played a major role in my love for this place. I can’t tell you how many times I thought about fake drowning like my boy squints.

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Lastly, and you won’t be shocked by this, I fucking loved the lazy river. If I could pick a perfect summer day it would be myself floating down that river for 8 hours, bronzing away. I can’t swim that well but it doesn’t matter, the lazy river is only like 4 feet deep. If I were to fall off of my tube, id get right back up and know that I’m safe. Furthermore, the lazy river can be for people who don’t have sick bods. I’ve been working on it, grinding away at Metabolic, but you don’t have to have the best bod to float on a tube. You literally just lay there. There are no athletic movements involved, thus making me look about 100 times hotter. No truffle shuffles allowed at the lazy river.

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Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened. I’ll never forget you, Water Slide World.

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RIP Water Slide World 1979-2019

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