One NY Town is About To Have a Mayoral Election With No Candidates

TU — A central New York village is holding a mayoral election with no candidates.

The Observer-Dispatch of Utica says the election on Tuesday is supposed to choose a replacement for village of Poland Mayor Mary Paul, who has decided to step down for personal reasons.

Since there are no candidates, the race will be decided by write-in votes.

Village Clerk Brandie Guarno says that if the winner does not want the position, he or she must resign.

Poland, located 55 miles (88 kilometers) east of Syracuse, has a population of about 500.


It’s anyone’s election…literally. Who will the 500 residents of the small town northeast of Utica write-in? Harambe? Jim Boeheim? Billy Fuccillo?

I know this is a real thing right now, but honestly, I wish every election was write-in only. All the comedians who would cast their votes for fictional characters or dead people essentially abstain and we’ll be left with (hopefully) informed voters writing in names from the general population.

Most importantly, we’d have a chance to get one of those geniuses who would be great in office, but are too smart to want to join that swamp. Let’s put some pressure on guys like Michael Bloomberg, Carl Icahn, and Warren Buffett to actually consider serving the people by leading us the right way.

Let’s see how this works out for the small CNY town first and work from there. Good luck Poland!

P.S. – I’m open to candidacy for the Mayor position under a few conditions:

  1. Bring Chick-Fil-A to all of Upstate NY
  2. Let me work remotely from my Troy apartment
  3. Give me a free golf pass to every course in the Capital District and CNY
  4. 24/7/365 helicopter access

Thanks. Also, you could just #VoteforDan.

Advertisements

Previous

Next

How do you feel?

%d bloggers like this: