Plategate resurfaced yesterday after Taylor’s cheap-shot article reminded Manory’s that they have a bone to pick with me, the technical winner of their ice cream eating competition. During my pursuit to victory in their no-rules competition, I accidentally smashed their plate on the floor.
I apologized for it and donated a few Jackson’s to the fundraiser that night. I thought amends were made, but Manory’s had other ideas…
First of all, very flattered to be called a local celebrity, add that to my LinkedIn. Second, the only reason Natty Kratty isn’t laughing is because she knows damn well when I come through and pump out bloody’s in a way that Manory’s hasn’t seen before, she might be out of a job.
Before I could accept or deny this proposition, Manory’s came through with a couples extra clauses:
Damn. The fact they support Taylor for her below-the-belt blog makes me question Manory’s in its entirety. Do I want Taylor there during my redemption shift after she made fun of my body type, and said I don’t deserve to eat ice cream anymore despite the fact I’m an amateur ice cream reviewer? Do I want to work at an establishment that supports such a hostile environment? What will their HR department make of this? Regardless, I still think it’s an appropriate offer and I accept it, under two conditions:
- I want the whole squad drinking bottomless mimosas while I work. I’m happy to put on for my team but Taylor deserves no special treatment for this whatsoever.
- I need Natty Kratty to wear a Two Buttons Deep shirt for the entirety of my shift. She can hate me, but if she’s not down with going a few buttons deep on the job, then that is no job I would ever want to have. Even just for a sole Sunday morning in October…
Manory’s, the ball is on your plate.