Sometimes I wonder what age I’ll be when I finally feel like I’ve actually grown up. Hint: it’s not 26. Maybe Sureet’s catchphrase, “Are you crazy? Are you stupid? Are you dumb?” is really getting to me, because sometimes things happen (to me) where all three of those questions can be answered easily with one resounding, “Yes. All of the above.”
The other morning I had what one might be able to classify as a typical Taylor morning, where multiple things go wrong –first world problems, let’s call it what it is. But then in the aftermath, I get left feeling like the most incompetent person on the planet. I don’t usually find myself to be crazy, stupid or dumb but when these are the types of tweets I’m sending out before 10AM I cannot help but question it.
1. I fell asleep at 8:15pm and slept for 10.5 hours (*this happens almost every day)
2. I tried to steam a sweater while I was wearing it and 2/3 of my stomach is now covered in burns
3. I just ate 2 strawberry poptarts for breakfast
— Taylor Rao (@whodatgirl_2bd) October 15, 2019
Obviously I just added in the bit about the Pop-tarts for dramatic effect because Pop-tarts are completely OK to eat at any age, and at any time of day. My favorite bar, The Bradley in Troy, has Pop-tarts displayed on the back of the bar like a regular establishment would have popcorn or ya know, like a menu for apps and shared plates.
ANYWAY, the stupidest thing I did on this list was #2 where I tried to steam a sweater while wearing it, resulting in these beautiful, blistery burns in the shape of water droplets all over my stomach. I am 26 years old, have owned a steamer (and used it every day) for 2+ years, and because I have been on this planet for long enough to have basic life skills, should know better than to point hot steam in the direction of your own skin. Nobody in my life had any sympathy for me because, well, they shouldn’t. Even the pharmacist at CVS was so confused when I borderline flashed her, showing her my open wounds while wondering which aisle I could find some sort of preventative remedy to make sure this doesn’t leave a massive scar.
How could I be so careless? I mean I know the answer, and the answer is because I have done this probably 100 other times without injury –or without serious injury, at least. Apparently I am just waiting to learn my lesson, ya know like how your parents would watch you do something semi-dumb and semi-dangerous as a kid, wait for you to do it and then tell you now you’ve learned a lesson to not do it again. Kind of like how you (OK, fine, me) refuses to pay for parking over and over and over until one day, boom! Magically a ticket appears. Then I’m done disobeying the law for a while.
And listen, girls are known for burning the back of their ear with a curling iron and other little mini no-no’s when it comes to shaving in the shower or whatever other things we do in our beauty routines, but this mistake I made with the steamer is what most people are telling me is borderline inexcusable. I can’t blame it on being a girl or having a crazy beauty routine or any of that.
So, it got me thinking, what do you guys do that at your age would be considered embarrassing? And not like a one-time thing that happened out at a restaurant or was caught on video somewhere. I have a long list of other things –some that turned into way-too-late-in-life accomplishments (yay!), that I cannot believe took me so long to learn how to do or understand. That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
My things include, but arre not limited to: Using a curling iron properly for beachy waves “away from your face” (Age 26, last week….actually), Learning how to use a can opener properly (Age 25, happened right out of the blue after a million failed attempts and badgered cans), Not knowing how to quickly decipher military time (Not sure when I will finally be able to do this), Continuously pressing the wrong buttons in attempt to defrost my windshield in the winter (also TBD, still working on it), I mean you get the idea guys. I ain’t perfect and I certainly do not have it all together…not like I pretend to or anything, though.
We’re all just trying to “adult” the best we can, and sometimes there are a couple ordinary things that just so happen to be a bit more of a struggle than they should be. Are we crazy, are we stupid, are we dumb? Probably not. I usually just chalk it up to carelessness or laziness, or genuinely sitting back and waiting for us to learn that valuable lesson and change our habits or lack of knowing for good. So….CLEARLY I am asking for a friend here. What’s the stupid thing you do or don’t know how to do? This is a judgement-free zone.
PS: My boyfriend didn’t realize pickles came from cucumbers and also recently told me “Dark Mode” on your phone was to protect your screen from anyone being able to see it. Nope….it’s just a darker background. See! We all do these things.