Just When You Thought It Couldn’t Get Worse, Nickelback Announces A New Album

Trump has placed a ban on immigrants from seven different nations, the doomsday clock is 30 seconds closer to midnight, science has been gagged, there are protests erupting all over the United States, the construction of both the Keystone and Dakota Access pipelines have resumed, and if that wasn’t already bad enough… Nickelback has announced that they are in the process of making a new album.


The Canadian band, famous for songs like “Photograph,””If Today Was Your Last Day,” “Rockstar,” and other equally horrific tunes, has returned to the music scene and is currently working on their ninth album.

According to the band’s Twitter page, they plan to release their new album on June 9th. There first single, Feed the Machine, was released this morning. Their North American tour, also titled Feed the Machine (very original), was also announced through Twitter.

The tour will begin in late June and extend until the beginning of October. The band will be visiting over 20 rather unlucky cities and another band, Sharman’s Harvest, will be touring with them as well. If you are at all interested in attending the monstrosity, tickets will be available for preorder on their website starting February 6th.

The band is expected to release at least one song within the next month or at least set a date for the album’s release. Nickelback tweeted that they would be releasing information about upcoming tour dates as well. While some of the band members have changed over the years, the band still has their lead singer, Chad Kroeger: notorious for his raspy, painful voice.

A few Nickelback fanstook to Twitter saying, “I cannot wait to hear your [Nickleback’s] new music! Best band in the world!” and, “Thank you Nickelback for such amazing music!” Now that’s something you don’t see every day.

Other tweets were not so positive. One tweet read,”Nickelback announced they’re working on a new album. And the timing is perfectbecause Trump’s about to reverse the ban on torture.” Ouch.

Cockroaches are said to be able to survive a nuclear explosion, a severed head, and just about anything else you throw at them. I guess you could say that Nickelback is kind of like a cockroach. There are a million things going wrong in the world, but here they are: Resurrectedfrom the dead. You keep trying to get rid of them, but they just keep coming back. What the lack in talent, they certainly make up for in resilience.

Well, it’s official. Nickelback is back, we have a celebrity for a president, and Park Rangers are leading a rebellion. I think it’s safe to say that hell has officially frozen over.



%d bloggers like this: