A Love Letter To Tinder – The Bar Of The 21st Century

The levels of anonymity the internet can provide is one of its greatest assets while simultaneously being arguably its greatest problem.

Sure, it can allow criminals of all sorts to navigate the web and weave their schemes of varying degrees of wretchedness, but it also permits virtually unlimited opportunities to shoot your shot™.

And with 2016 concluding less than 3 months ago, the termination of one of the most trash years in recent memory (with 4 more on the way, depending on who you ask) has afforded us the opportunity to throw caution to the wind and usher in #ShootYourShot2k17, lead by fearless leader and Ringer staff writer, Shea Serrano.


And where’s the best place to get shots up if you’re single and, as they say, ready to mingle? Tinder. But, not like this:

No, definitely not like that.

And full disclosure, if you’re a dad, an older brother, anyone who even remotely cares about a woman in their life and said female ends up on one of Chris Spags of Barstool Sports’ Tinder blogs then I’m sending you thoughts and prayers of the utmost sincerity in advance.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The only thing worse than seeing a loved one on there may be the absolute slew of garbage pick up lines girls are forced to sift through on a regular basis:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

And this somehow is extremely tame in comparison to some of the horror stories I’ve heard, most of which that would be vastly understated if described as “skin crawling.”

So, why would I get on here and ride for an app that produce such suspect displays of human behavior and has been very aptly described the following way:

“A bit like going to a casino and playing roulette; seems fun and exciting for awhile, but often is ultimately disappointing.” – Bryan, 23

Because “often is ultimately disappointing,” does not mean is always disappointing, it means there’s a chance that it is rewarding and even extremely so. And also not only are the social skills of young people diminishing at an astronomical rate, but the apparent creepiness of people who approach potential suitors in bars is skyrocketing in the opposite direction.

Google “women no longer feel safe in bars” and you receive a lengthy list of tips and tricks to escape dodgy situations and firsthand accounts of unfortunate events. Approaching someone in a bar in a climate when people often assume the worst of strangers, especially when alcohol is involved (and rightfully so) has turned the dating game on its head.


This is supported by the decline in majority of the most common methods of match making, while online connections soar. In 2009, when data was last available, bars/restaurants were still a viable and thriving way to meet people, but now 8 years into the future that seems to be less and less the case.

In February of this year, research conducted by MSNBC and eZine produced data that suggested in terms of heterosexual individuals only 9% of women are meeting their partners in bars, while just 2% of men are.

And since then it appears Tinder is becoming the ideal outlet of people 18-35, as our time glued to our phone increases as our toleration for face to face interaction declines.


Screen Shot 2017-03-20 at 7.06.30 PM
Via Tinder

With the average user racking up approximately 90 minutes per day swiping with 80% of users looking for long-term relationships, it seems there’s a much greater chance of encountering a willing partner in the palm of your hand than up against a bar.

This post has definitely been a mixed bag of pro- and anti-Tinder rhetoric with a bit of commentary on changing social trends tossed in, but there’s one trump card this method of searching for love offers in the midst of a fast-paced, I-need-it-now era perpetuated by the very device the app is hosted on: It gives people time to think and make well-informed decisions.

Now, hear me out. Chances are if you’ve been to college or have just existed on planet Earth long enough to experience the ages of 18-? (I’m not out here to judge decision-making skills) you’ve found yourself in a situation where you made a snap judgment that lead you spending intimate moments with someone who you only briefly knew.

And further more, upon additional review, I’d venture to guess some of those people may have not exactly lead to positive or proud memories.

And while Tinder will without question throw a crop of gals with less than ideal relationships with their fathers and the ability to casually take a strep test along with infinity bros who would love to help you limber up or make a vulgar attempt to enter one orifice or another, it also gives you the luxury of time.

You have the ability to suss someone out through actual conversation, to try and make a connection that goes beyond their physical appearance and ability to pay for a drink for you. Instead of a first encounter being from bar to bedroom under the pressure of the moment the alternative exists to go from the screen of your phone to the table at a restaurant or anywhere in between.

You may not be using Tinder to find your special someone, you very well may be using it as a virtual version of the cliche bar I have been referencing throughout this post, but the beauty of Tinder is that it gives you the choice to use it how you please and seek out the situation that works for you.

So, godspeed, shoot your shot and whatever you do don’t use the opener I used before another particular writer at Two Buttons Deep verbalized it and I soon realized it wasn’t exactly the best way to attract what I personally am looking for:

Screen Shot 2017-03-20 at 7.33.48 PMwhat-just-happened.gif



%d bloggers like this: