The World’s Ugliest Dog Competition Is RIGGED

I saw the new world’s ugliest dog, and in the words of the leader of the free world, RIGGED.

At just three years old, Martha the Neapolitan Mastiff†tips the scales at a hefty 125 pounds and possesses a face with so many rolls you would think it was a bread factory.

Although Martha is destined for large-breed related health issues, her looks are not one of her weaknesses. She is a fine lookin’ pooch, yeah so what if her eyes droop so far she can only see from one of them, it’s called cuteness. And may be a result of the multiple surgeries she underwent after being rescued from a place where she almost went blind from neglect.

Anyways, last week was the†29th annual World’s Ugliest Dog Contest in†Petaluma, California. Martha beat out 13 other dogs, most of whom were small and actually ugly, and Martha won with my favorite move ever, the nap.


Apparently, passing out onstage was the move that sealed Martha the all-time ugly crown. And what the hell is his owner cheering for? Oh I know…

Martha lumbered away with $1,500, a flashy trophy and a trip to New York for media appearances, all things she could hardly care less about.

I don’t care what the judges say, Martha is not an ugly pup and we need to stop proclaiming her as such. How do you think it makes the teenage puppies think when they see this ugly shaming in the media?

Let me leave you with a reminder of what a real ugly dog looks like:

World's Ugliest Dog

Perfect formation though.

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