A Story About How I Got Trolled Trying To Troll People On Halloween

This is a 100% true account of what happened to me on Halloween. 

I chose to stay in and hand out candy to Trick or Treaters this year. After all, it was a Tuesday and I had to work to do in the morning. But, I decided that this year, it was time to give myself some amusement while I waited around for snot-nosed children to show up with helicopter parents to demand candy from me like I was a common peon.

“What can I do to troll these parents,” I thought?

I dressed up as Santa Claus.

I bought candy canes to hand out. I thought I was being clever and at least the parents would get a kick out of it. Children may have possibly been traumatized, but I was in costume, and its still candy, so I’m legally in the right in any potential or (possibly pending) cases, I assume.


So, I’m in my full Santa garb with a bowl of candy canes ready. The porch lights are on. And while I’m waiting for the kiddos, I sit back on my couch, throw on “The Shining,” because its Halloween…why not?

At this point in the story, I’m into the movie at the scene where the twin girls show up. See below:

I get a knock on the door and pause the movie, with the twin girls stalled on my TV screen. My television faces my front door.

Surely enough, there’s a young couple standing there on my doorstep dressed as Batman and Batgirl, holding a twin stroller. With twin girls in it.

I smiled and said “Ho, Ho, Ho – here are some candy canes for the young ones!” Awkwardly and mildly terrified, I made a joke about how the candy was obviously only meant for the parents (given their childrens’ age,) but I respected the effort.

The man in the couple glances inside and simply says “Redrum,” and they leave.


I go back to my business watching “The Shining,” and twenty minutes later, I get a second knock on my door. It’s another, different young couple, without costumes, but also – wait for it – two other twin girls in a twin stroller.

I can’t make this up.

Now, I’m attempting to reject any concept of superstition and rely on coincidence. I turn off “The Shining” and put on some music.

10 minutes later: there’s a knock on the door.

Both couples are back with their two sets of twin daughters. They say in unison: “Come play with us. For ever, and ever, and ever…”

Come play

I think there’s a lesson to be learned here for Halloween 2018. Let’s stop talking about Christmas too early, even as a joke because it can haunt you. Let’s give it at a week or two until after Thanksgiving… It’ll pay dividends in your ability to sleep and avoid nightmares, or allow you not to fear your neighbors throughout the entire autumn season.

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