Amazon Wants to Buy Target in 2018: Do We Cry or Celebrate When That Happens?

You’re going to want to sit down for this. One tech industry analyst has made a bold prediction for what king-of-the-world Amazon could accomplish in 2018, and it’s putting a bullseye on one of the basic bitches’ most loved retail chains of all time.

All the açai bowl lovers and almond milk junkies probably felt this way when Amazon purchased Whole Foods for $13.7B in August 2017, but learning the news that Target is next on its list to conquer is giving me a mini heart attack.


Yup, glad you sat down right? According to the Chicago Tribune, here’s what the deal could mean for Amazon, and more importantly for consumers:

Buying Target will accelerate Amazon’s already rapid retail expansion by adding crucial “bricks-and-mortar” outlets to its predominantly online approach. For customers, the combo would provide them with more products, new technology for buying or browsing, greater delivery options — and maybe some unexpected bargains.

Traditional retail has been on the decline as we all know, and Amazon has risen to the top as the place to go for literally all of the things. From paper towels to electronics, one-click ordering and Amazon Prime two-day shipping has quickly become the people’s preferred way to shop. It’s convenient and reliable, but I’m still not convinced it could ever replace a quick trip to a physical store.

Amazon is on a path in which no human or other retailer could stop them from at this point –they’re trailblazing, making deals and cashin’ checks left and right. I’m not sure how to sum this up yet since there isn’t a lot of insight out there for the changes this acquisition would bring, but I think I can boil it down to two reactions if the deal were to go through. So, if Amazon buys Target in 2018, do we cry or celebrate?

If we cry, here’s why:

Well, it’s change. The sheer THOUGHT of my beloved Target changing in any way would shake me up because we all know it’s pretty much the most perfect place on Earth. I’m convinced most of the changes would be positive with more money and power behind the brand, but the stuff I wouldn’t want to see is some sort of futuristic way to shop in the stores.

I don’t want to be pressing buttons to get lip gloss out of a glass case or greeting a robot in the checkout line. I still want to peruse around aimlessly, picking up things I don’t need until I’m balancing a candle, coffee mug, cardigan and a pack of garbage bags higher than I can see and refusing to get a cart to carry it all.

And if we celebrate:

This acquisition would be like getting picked first in flag football = pure validation that Target is the OG retail store and to be added to Amazon’s dream team would be well, a dream. They’re shooting for the moon and for as long as it took me to hop on the Prime bandwagon, I kinda had to so I didn’t get left behind. Amazon is smart, they know how much we love Target and they want to capitalize on it, not change it so much that it’s unrecognizable and suddenly unpopular.

Hate to say it, but I think I’d have to be on board with this one. It proves my favorite store is healthy! alive and well! in this unstable retail marketplace and this big deal would ensure many more years of brick-and-mortar Target shopping trips. Bring it, Bezos.

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