A Single Guy’s Tips to Power Through Cuffing Season

As I fall into my couch face first after a long day’s work, I’m accompanied by a Himalayan salt lamp, body pillows and the calming voice of Uncle Joey Diaz’s podcast “The Church of Whats Happening Now.” I laugh along to his infinite tangential rants, think of what I’m going to cook myself and grab my phone.
Ahhh, beautiful! My Facebook timeline is starting to look like a wedding album collage of every lovestruck duo in the Capital Region. It seems as if I can’t go a day without seeing a new engagement post or dozens of wedding pictures and videos. High school sweethearts, recent soul mates and mentally unstable Tinder matches who probably will part ways.
As we prep for another snow storm that’ll leave you homebound for at least a solid day, it’s apparent more than ever that it is indeed cuffing season.

Cuffing season: the time of year where sheer panic and fear of being alone for the remainder of your days. It might just force you to settle for a relationship that you truly don’t want, yet feel you need.

Cuffing season: where there endless dreary days of snow and sleet accompanied by gray skies could leave you thinking that if you just had some company, your misery may be more tolerable.
Cuffing season: where you internalize everyone else’s love life and correlate it with your own, you know, that one that currently doesn’t exist and is slowly eating away at your soul.
It’s very easy to feel lonely this time of year, but I’m here to tell you you’ll be OK. Here are some tips for my singles during cuffing season.

Run your race

You only have control over yourself, so stop correlating your happiness with those of others. Someone found someone they’re compatible with and you didn’t yet, tough shit, but that doesn’t mean you need to jump the gun and dive into something you’re not ready for. Slow and steady wins the race, remember? Keep your pace, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. The last thing you want to do is rush to the finish line only to jump into the arms of someone you don’t truly see yourself ending up with.

Appreciate love, don’t resent it

Stop harboring feelings of envy and jealously towards others you see have found happiness. Instead, start to see them with a sense of admiration. Be happy for them, they found something we’re all looking for and the more you recognize it’s achievable, the more an idea of finding someone you’re truly compatible with can morph into reality.

I’m currently at a stage where it seems like everyone in my extremely large and outspoken family has either gotten engaged or has started a serious relationship. Weddings and babies are our current theme right now, and you know what, I love it. I couldn’t be happier for my cousins and family friends experiencing this type of joy in their life, and I rest easy knowing they’re in a good place that I one day have faith I will get to that point as well.

Be OK with not being OK

Don’t be taken by surprise by feelings of loneliness and single anxiety. It’s normal and something everyone experiences it at some point in their life, but it’s important to recognize the feelings exist as opposed to being shocked by your reactions to realizing you don’t have someone. Time heals all struggle and eventually it will give you the opportunities you deserve to find someone live out a happy life.

Become emotionally available

These cold dark times may have you currently losing interest at dating at all, and that’s OK, but sometimes you need to make a little effort. Open yourself up to the possibility a special someone can walk into your life at any moment, go to social events and don’t be afraid to entertain new conversation and people, it could end up being something great, and if it doesn’t, you’ll be OK, you’re used to that anyway. Go on a date, fuck it! See what happens –if anything else you’ll be able to have something to talk about amongst other love deprived friends as you pass that handle of Jameson back and forth. Just kidding, unless you really do that, then, props to you, you savage, you soldier you.

Cuffing seasons arrives and cuffing season subsides. The important thing is to not let a notion of diving into a relationship you’re not ready for consume you. Stay patient but don’t ignore the possibility you could find someone. It’s a simple balancing act that’s applicable to almost all aspects of life. Good luck, your single lonely ass needs it.

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