Asking for a Friend: Is This Local Billboard a Little Risqué or Am I Behind the Times on Casino Lingo?

Listen, I’m no gambler. I’ve said on the record I have never placed a bet at the Saratoga Race Course and can certainly guarantee I’m not a consistent patron at the Rivers Casino in Schenectady or the Saratoga Racino. When it comes to enjoying this kind of entertainment upstate, I’d just rather not. Can’t be throwing money away when there are so many clothes and shoes in the world that desperately need my body to wear them.


But just because I don’t take part in those activities doesn’t mean I’m not observant of the obvious advertising out there trying to turn me into a degenerate fan. I almost spit out my tea the other day when I saw this billboard on the Northway northbound heading toward Saratoga:


Ummmm, excuse me?! Loosest slots? First of all, let’s break this down. “Loose” is just one of those gross words no matter the context. I know there’s a lot of “moist” haters out there but this one is definitely up there with it.

Also, gotta say it but I THOUGHT loose had a double meaning from ya know, back in the day during the Prohibition Era or something when the old men drinking behind an abandoned warehouse somewhere used to use a word like this to talk about the ladies.

Ok yeah, I was right.

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So, if you take that old school connotation and pair it with the word SLOTS, just one letter off from a recognizable, inappropriate term to call a female, this billboard is making heads turn just for the shock factor. Interesting advertising technique, Saratoga.

And of course all of this was going through my mind when I cruised past this billboard, totally driving the exact speed limit of 65 MPH. I’m like, “Wow, that was a little risqué, wasn’t it?” But I was in the car by myself and didn’t have anyone to bounce these thoughts off of. Then I’m thinking maybe it’s just me and “Loosest Slots in the Capital Region,” has no double meaning at all and I’m just showing how much of a non-gambling fan I am. But then, I’m like…nah.

So, I’m asking for a friend here. Is this weird??????? Is it supposed to be as tongue-and-cheek as it seems, or is my mind just in the gutter and gambling pros say “loose slots” all the time? Either way, after some serious consideration, I feel like, “LOOSEST SLOTS IN THE CAPITAL REGION” is not a good look.


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