We love a good Fashion Friday over here at Two Buttons Deep (or at least I do),†and since we’re still unofficially kicking off summer AKA it’s the first of June, Nike’s newest invention of the fanny pack slides is a great place to start with some hot takes for a hot new look.
But is it really that hot? Is it really all that practical? The fashion world has lightly been mentioning that fanny packs were making a comeback, largely thanks to all of this festival culture goin’ on with the youths, but apparently they’re more in style than anyone thought since now it’s time to kill two birds with one stone and wear fanny packs on our feet. Thanks, Nike for always innovating.
But I think everyone who knows me knows what I’d have to say about this new look, and that wouldn’t make a very interesting Fashion Friday, would it? So, I’ve got my squad on board to state their official opinions on the so-called Shoe of the Summer (really, TIME Magazine?)
“I love the idea. It’s a great way to keep extra beef jerky on you in case you sell out.”
Would John wear them? Yes.
Shoe of the summer? Hybrid you never knew you needed? Or an abomination to shower shoes and insult to fanny packs everywhere? Nike, Nike, Nike… what are you thinking with these bad boys? Sure, I get it: fanny packs are back in, slides are (still?) in, so a mashup of the two seems like a winning combo.
But my questions is: since fanny packs are in, why are you trying to remove them from our fannies at all? I happen to like wearing mine right where it is. Trying to reinvent the wheel so soon. Foot Pack? Shoe Sack? Toe Tote? Just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
And what are you actually going to put in there, hmmm? At least when I wear my favorite†Ape n Bird†fannies, I can easily carry the essentials handsfree: cell phone, wallet, lip gloss, keys, pack of lifesavers, maybe some sunnies. What can you possibly fit in Nike’s shoe sack?? Some spare change? A bite size Snickers? A super tiny vibrator? Are you really going to stoop that low and store your chapstick in a pouch on your shoe?
Would Katie wear them? No.
“Your feet are the most susceptible part of your body to the elements of the Earth –so you can’t really put anything that you care about inside of those tiny zippers. Maybe you can store your license and credit card while you’re at the beach…as long as you’re OK with looking like an idiot when it’s time to get them out to use.†A fanny pack and flip flop combo? Can’t think of a bigger social crime than that.”
Would Jack wear them? No.
“I would 100 percent rock those slides. First off, I’m at an age now (27)†where shoes don’t matter as much when it comes to your outfit, so if I’m ever going to wear sandals or slides, I’m still going to want to rock a pair that are dope. Plus, I hate having stuff in my pockets.
Would Mark wear them? Yes.
I mean, what do you guys think I would say? I’m not really concerned about the fanny pack part, I get the novelty there. And honestly, I don’t really care about slides either, but most importantly, people who will wear these just need to be educated on where it’s acceptable to wear them.
Slides are OK for: lounging at home, walking around the perimeter of your home to pick up litter, grab the mail, washing your car, etc., the beach, the pool, MAYBE the gym if you’re a change into your sneakers kind of guy or gal…but that’s about it.
Don’t be showing up to social events with your fanny pack slides unless you’re wearing a Hawaiian shirt and there’s a strong forecast of going Two Buttons Deep.
Though, I will warn you: if you do plan on going Two Buttons Deep in these fanny pack slides, you might want to add a strap to the back of these bad boys. Shoes like these are easy to lose, and it’ll be way more painful than walking barefoot to realize you’ve left your credit card or ID inside those little zips.
Would Taylor wear them? Probably not until they make a platform version with a heel.
Two Buttons Deep†is a news & entertainment website based in upstate New York.
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