Now Taking Bets on Whether I Will Survive 8 Weeks Without Coffee (or Just Survive the Macros Diet in General)

You ever realize you’re just plain stupid? Like, ya know, when you make a decision that you think will help you challenge yourself and become a better person, but then you sober up and come to terms with the fact that those type of lifestyle changes just aren’t for you?


No? Never? OK. Well, sometimes I think I get a little too cocky, then. Maybe it’s my self-centeredness we discussed a few weeks ago on the Squadcast (I know what you’re thinking, but we are all self-centered), or the fact that I kind of rightly believe that if I put my mind to something, I can do it. That’s a real winner’s attitude and I’m not mad about it, but…

I recently signed up for Metabolic’s macro coaching program –an 8-week nutrition/diet plan that requires you to count your daily macronutrients (carbs, fat, protein and calories).

Your personal coach assigns you a set of numbers to hit each day based on your height, weight and waist size –and you track all the foods you eat as closely as possible to reach those numbers. That’s the dummies version of how do describe it, because I am a dummy when it comes to this stuff.

But hey, I’m up for a challenge, and considering I was able to actually get myself to consistently workout in the first place, I figured this would be another step in the process of pushing myself to be ~*the best version of myself.*~


Until I got the welcome email that said NO COFFEE for the entire 8-week cycle. WHAT?! I survive off of coffee –my normal routine consists of 2-3 cups of coffee at home (which I don’t believe should even count toward your total for the day) and then at least a cup or two more while working my 10-hour days in the bridal industry. I can drink coffee all the way up until my bedtime and not feel like it’s gonna keep me up all night whatsoever. It’s my safe space beverage of choice and boy, it’ll be tough to live without.

But listen, I’ve quit coffee cold turkey before during Sober January so I’m feeling like this shouldn’t be so bad. And so far it’s not so bad –but mostly because I am way too focused on these numbers and how each and every thing I put into my body is going to affect my goals.

Am I going to survive? Honestly I don’t know…too early to tell. I think I’m feeling extra inspired these days and think  this could be my shot to fulfill the healthy living part of the healthy living lifestyle that I do not currently do, AKA eat healthy. You can work out all you want but if you still drink Miller Lite’s on the reg and constantly crave chips and queso (and always find a way to get them no matter how inconvenient), nothing good is gonna happen. I get it.

And of course, some video evidence that shows that I can (or maybe can’t) do this.


So, maybe I’ll post some updates and let you guys know how things are going. If I don’t post anything, it means I did not in fact survive. I wanna say this is a YOLO moment meaning like yeah, YOLO, get after it! But we all know my preference of getting after it would be an all-you-can-eat sushi night or infinite soft serve ice cream cones. This YOLO is more like YOLO, don’t waste it by ending up on My 600-lb. Life.

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