Warning: this is a quick rant, a mini rant or better yet –a petite rant. That sounds good.
One thing I cannot stand throughout life are clichés and common phrases of any kind. As a writer –whether you’re a journalist or a poet –it’s one of the many no-no’s that could literally cost you a career. Someone who writes or speaks using cliché words or popular phrases essentially means you are basic AF and don’t have a way with words after all (there’s one right there).
In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, I mean phrases like, “grinds my gears,” “believe it or not,” and all those random filler words that just take up your precious breath but don’t really get you anywhere.
And while we all come across these phrases in our day-to-day life, I’m here to argue that there is one group of people out there who hear some of the most overplayed phrases more than others: and that’s girls.
Today’s example is one I consistently run into, and today’s the day it comes to end because I am EDUCATING all of the serious offenders out there why this phrase, pickup line or whateveryawannacallit should not be used when speaking to a female, ever.
Let me set the scene:
Girl is getting ready in the comfort of her own home and closet, NOT (I repeat, not) thinking about who she might run into later or who she needs to impress for the day. Yes, girls dress for themselves, not for others at least 99 percent of the time –I promise.
Girl decides it’s a more casual day –or a perhaps she’s attending a social setting where a particular type of apparel might be the best choice for the day, AKA the broad product category of sports apparel.
Maybe she throws on a Boston Bruins beanie because it’s cold out, or she might dig a New England Patriots crewneck sweatshirt out of the closet because she knows what day of the week it is, and that day just so happens to be NFL Sunday.
Girl comes across THE FIRST MALE she has seen since putting the outfit on and acts completely normal (obviously). Until………………………….here it comes……………………..
“OH NICE BRUINS HAT! CAN YOU EVEN NAME ANY SINGLE PLAYER ON THE TEAM?”
Oh, boys. Why do you say this? Are you trying to be cute in that Helga and Hey Arnold type of way? Or are you honestly offended that someone with boobs is wearing sports apparel? Clearly this rant was sparked after I was asked this when I wore the Bruins hat pictured above and in our latest Squadcast, and even though I shrugged it off in the moment as all ~*cool*~ girls do, I thought about it afterward and got seriously heated.
Like, girls need to be quizzed on the spot so we can be “allowed” to represent a sports team?
Can you imagine if we did this to a guy every time we saw him walking around a shopping mall? “Name all the stores on the upper level of the mall before you take ONE MORE STEP, buddy.”
When I’m asked this, I don’t even care if I can name the players (which I can), I just straight up refuse to do it as to not entertain this ridiculous comment any further. Us gals been through a lot in 2017 and 2018 and this is just one of those leftover things that we kinda really shouldn’t be “joking” around about anymore. It’s a freaking piece of clothing with an emblem on it, and guess what? We’re allowed to be sports fans and we are also NOT allowed to be sports fans and still wear the apparel if we want to. Yes, way!
And I know anyone with a penis is probably reading this and thinking about a time or two you’ve used this little line before –and I’m not saying you’re all monsters. But I am saying please just think for ONE SECOND what you are getting out of this empty, dumb cliché. I will tell you one thing you are not getting and that is laid, fella.
OK, rant over. If you want to see more of me and my SWEET BRUINS hat, watch the latest Squadcast. Go sports!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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