There Are Two Types of People Who Don’t Wear Coats in the Winter

It’s that time of year when you’ll be shivering walking to a pub or a show only to have the gut dropping realization that the line is out the door. Your cold ass has no other option than you join the line where you’ll meet a mixed group of huddlers, cuddlers, and that one guy who isn’t even wearing a coat? He is standing in 14 degree wind chills wearing either shorts or a t shirt, and when asked “hey man, why don’t you have a coat on?” He responds with nauseating eagerness “I don’t get cold.”

This response is a lie, 100% of the time, all day, everyday.

You DO get cold, everyone gets cold. It’s a universal biological response to low temperatures. Natives in Alaska whose bloodlines run thousands of years into the glaciers get cold, you 100% do get cold sir, and right now you’re simply calling out for help attempting to fill a void of neglect stemming from your childhood or high school years.

I know a couple of these weirdos. Give me a break, you’re freezing your ass off right now, and it’s taking every inch of your will to not break character and shiver from your toes. What specifically causes this?

Well, I know of two types of people who think they’re above coats in the winter, let’s elaborate.

First it could be a Greg.

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Greg is simply a jerkoff. Theres no backstory here, Greg is just your typical hardo looking for another source of mediocre attention. Go home Greg.

Second, there are those in need.


The worst type of all, they don’t want to be without a coat, but because of their situation, they end up like Greg. And let me get serious for a second, I teach multiple kids who are not Gregs, but genuinely in need here in Troy.

This weekend we are doing a coat drive to make sure these kids don’t be like Greg because nobody wants to be like Greg. If you do have a jacket to donate that doesn’t reek of your step dad’s Newports, PLEASE reach out to me and I will come pick it up. We need jackets for the kids so they can be warm and so can understand the community has their back, literally.

Email me to set it up. Thank you.

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