The Haters Said I Would Get Kidnapped in Brazil But I’m Back, Baby

Not gonna lie, I’m slightly surprised I am living to tell the tale of my vacation to Brazil. In the few weeks leading up to my departure, the HATERS came out to let me know how out of my mind I was for going to South America. People feared I’d be kidnapped and trafficked, shot in the arm with my body then thrown in the ocean, or stuck in a sketchy Uber with nowhere safe to jump out and run to for help. 

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The funny part is that none of these people who tried to terrify me out of the trip had actually visited the country or continent before; they just wanted me to be consumed with myths and stories they’ve heard from someone who knew someone who went there before who told tales of all the danger.

As I left the Troy Innovation Garage on the eve of my flight, even my co-captain Jack snapped a pic of me exiting the building, as I heard his voice trail off, “This is just in case it’s the last picture I ever get of you.”

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I didn’t necessarily believe everyone, but I was a little nervous during the drive down to JFK and as I was boarding my 9.5 hour overnight flight. The haters were getting into my head, man. Did I pick the worst vacation spot ever? Is Brazil going to be so sketchy I won’t even be able to leave my hotel room? Am I too old to get kidnapped? Will my mom and I make it home for Christmas?

But guess what? I’m back, baby. And Rio was NOT nearly as sketchy as everyone tried to tell me it would be. Were there sketchy parts of the city? Yes, for sure. But any person who’s traveled literally anywhere, from New York City to London to Chicago or Madrid, there are going to be dangerous parts of every single place. Shit, there are dangerous parts of the Capital Region –is that supposed to stop us from living life?

You’ve got to be careful everywhere you go these days, and that can simply be accomplished by being aware of your surroundings, bringing only the necessities with you when walking the city streets or dozing off at the beach, and not getting wildly, inappropriately drunk so that your common sense is debilitated in a foreign place.

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And yeah, OK, this was a vacation with my mom, so I had no intentions of getting out of control or adventuring anywhere the only two blondes on the entire continent shouldn’t have been. But that’s not my kind of vacation, anyways. I’m a basic bitch in the sense that shopping and sun (combined with a more than fair share of eating and drinking) is the perfect getaway for me, and Ipanema had all of those things for me to enjoy, and very safely I must say.

Now, I’m not here to bore you with the details of my trip because no one wants that, BUT, if you are planning a trip to Brazil and need someone to give you a star-studded review, I’m your girl. Haters, take a seat. I’m back!

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