If I Told You This Lady Stole a Car in Wilton Would You Believe Me?

(Saratogian) Colleen M. Olsen, age 32, of Greenwich was arrested on Dec. 28 for stealing a vehicle, according to the Saratoga County Sheriff’s Office.

At 9:26 a.m. on Friday a call was received that a vehicle had been stolen from a business on State Route 50 in the Town of Wilton.

The vehicle was located southbound on Interstate 87, exited the Interstate at exit 11 and was stopped by members of the Sheriff’s Office and the New York State Police.

Olsen was arrested and charged with grand larceny in the third degree, a felony, criminal possession of stolen property in the third degree, a felony and resisting arrest, a misdemeanor.

January 3rd, new year new you and Colleen is out here starting it off with a BANG. Would you believe that this lady would steal a car…in Wilton?

I’m not gonna say I’d put it past her, but I also feel like we have something in common. And that sole common denominator has to be my all time favorite video game growing up: Grand Theft Auto 3. If you played video games growing up, which Ms. Olsen probably did, you’d agree.

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You could steal cars, blow things up, hell you could even get a hooker. As a young teen going through puberty that was the real deal!! I was an acne laced chubby teen wearing a puka shell necklace and a popped Abercrombie collar. In hindsight, I was quite a loser, but in Grand Theft Auto, I was the man.

Now here is where it starts to get tricky. The big difference between myself and Ms. Olsen is that even though stealing a car in a virtual world is all fine and dandy and certainly quite fun, I am WAY to physically and mentally soft to jack a car in real life. I’m a god damn marshmallow.

Having said that, it’s certainly not the end of the world to steal a car. It could be worse.

One thing I’m trying to do this year is to start looking at things glass half full. So, Colleen, here’s a little something for ya… it’s January 3rd and you’re in court, not ideal. BUT, that means there is 362 more days that you can seize the day that you can carpe the motherfucking diem and not steal any more cars. I am here to support you. And if you want to take your rage out on GTA 3, call me, I’ll whip out my old playstation and we’ll steal all the car your heart desires.




How do you feel?

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