The Boys of 2BD Are Getting a Little Too Comfortable With Me and Discussing Their Poop Schedules in Our Group Chat

There are definitely some challenges that come along with being the only girl in the 2BD squad. And while for the most part I feel like I can hold my own (i.e. my opinions are respected like, 65 percent of the time, I have no problem telling the guys to f*** off when  they make a rude comment about my outfit, etc.) there are some conversations that take place in meetings, on the squadcast or in our everyday group chat that are just way, way, wayyyy not for me.

Lately, the trending topic amongst our squad seems to be the forever immature, always funny(?) subject of pooping. I’m not an expert on this #2 thing because well, as everyone knows, girls don’t poop, but I am quickly becoming familiar thanks to the fine gentlemen of Two Buttons Deep.

I mean, guys. I get that we’re all friends here, and that clearly you’re all involved with this business because you are trying to be comics 24/7 and have the sense of humor of a middle schooler…but I mean, poop talk just doesn’t belong in this group chat.

This is a BUSINESS! Jack and I are your BOSSES! All the messing around and busting balls doesn’t get to me very easily, but this is just a cruel form of TMI that yes, now, I am telling the rest of the world about. It’s only fair given what I have to go through as the solo girl member of this squad.

Is this how the guys felt when I asked them last night which pair of earrings I should wear for my #TenQuestionsDeep interview? Fashion-related content might be considered boring to the average man, but it is not even one percent gross in nature.

Also, yes, I stand by my comment that no human should *need* to poop three times a day unless you have an IV of coffee taped into you and are eating like the guy who did a McDonald’s diet for a month or whatever.

But boys are weird, I know I know. “Going to the bathroom alone” (a term I like my male partners to use to hint that there should be no popping in and out of the bathroom to brush teeth, finish makeup, etc. while they’re in there) is like a spiritual experience for men –and one I believe the details of should be kept within the bathroom walls. Now if only Marko, John and Jack could agree with me on this.

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