It might feel like we’re pumping out some serious Valentine’s Day content here on 2BD, but no one is paying us to do any of it (yet). However, someone is paying to send me TARGETED ads for BABY PRODUCTS like this car seat WalMart so kindly wanted to show me today while I was scrolling through all the pics of couples celebrating on social media already trying not to vomit. So, as you can imagine, this ad suggesting it’s almost my time to birth a child was a wonderful break in the action, and a serious blow to my single life.
Come on, Instagram. We know why this isn’t cool, right? I take my birth control on time EVERY NIGHT and you still wanna hit me with this shit? I’m simply not OK with believing my age demographic is the right one to be bombarded with these types of ads, especially on the gross holiday of Valentine’s Day. I still feel young –as I should! And obviously this is not meant to offend anyone out there making babies in their mid-20s, more power to you. But that ain’t me, and as someone who studied marketing and advertising, I feel like Instagram should really know that fun little fact about me.
And just to make it a little bit more of a low blow, I continue the Instagram scroll with one eye half-shut and find out that Jimmy (the half-ass 2BD squad member, might I add) gets Peanut Butter Pandemonium ice cream from Stewart’s Shops HAND DELIVERED to him by the president of the company, and #OurPresident here at 2BD, Gary Dake. All Jimmy had to do was write one blog about 50-cent V-Day cones and he’s getting the royal treatment from one of the most admirable men in the Capital Region.
Luckily, Mr. Dake and my time is coming real soon, so I’m not taking this gesture too personally, but what a polar opposite Valentine’s Day that’s going down here for two 2BD squad members. Just had to throw it out there.