On Friday night I took part in the Manory’s Ice Cream Eating Competition in downtown Troy. If you don’t know Manory’s, then you don’t know Troy’s oldest restaurant, and you should fix that.
Manory’s reached out to us a few weeks ago seeking participants for this event and of course we were all in. I know logistically speaking, Marko or John should have taken this gig, but as 2BD’s amateur ice cream reviewer I felt it was my lane to drive in.
I signed up, and was instructed to design my desired sundae to use during the competition. I needed advice, so I called out on social media for advice to get the inside scoop to make the right decision.
I will be representing @TwoButtonsDeep in an ice cream eating competition at @Manorys next week. They are asking me to design the sundae that I will be eating and I'm calling for suggestions…We're not goin for taste here, but practicality and speed. What's your lineup? pic.twitter.com/lnZIISdueS
— Jack Carpenter (@JacksonCarp2BD) June 19, 2019
After consulting my trusted advisors, including Gary Dake of Stewart’s, I entered my pick of a glazed donut base, vanilla ice cream, banana and strawberry toppings, and chocolate fudge…What could go wrong?
I rolled up the event on a beautiful Troy Night Out. I could tell I had some stiff competition, a couple RPI football players, lots of Mealeo people there, so I assume they’re good at eating. There was also one participant who was so stoned that I don’t even know if he knew he was there, but I get the intention.
I knew if I was gonna win, I’d have to put on a stellar performance. I hadn’t eaten anything since 11AM so I was genuinely excited to chow down. My other tactic was to get in the head of my competition, so right off the bat I called out everyone who brought larger spoons. I’m normally not that confrontational, I think I have just watched too much of the presidential debate this week and was ready for it. Because nonetheless, I wasn’t even planning on using a spoon. All hands, baby.
Seamus gave us a count down after announcing the only rule is the there are NO RULES, the first person to finish their plate wins.
And we were off.
I spared no time and got right in to it. THREE glazed donuts (I thought it would be one) piled with scoops upon scoops of vanilla, and we’re not talking Dunkin donuts, the real deal that you’ll feel donuts. Heavy, but not enough to stop me.
We were off to the races and it was clear who was in this to win this and who was in this for a free sundae. Neither of which I blame. I was all hands and a face full of whipped cream by the minute mark. I was filling up fast eating mouth fulls of donut and ice cream, but eating it wasn’t the hardest part. My biggest setback was how damn cold my hands were from holding the ice cream. I guess I don’t remember the last time I full on gripped something frozen for more than 5 seconds…
It hurt very bad, in fact, I still have small blisters on my finger from the event. Did I get frostbite from an ice cream eating competition? Maybe. But it’s all part of the game and I wasn’t gonna let it stop me. My teeth took a toll from the cold too, but I kept going.
As my plate began to clear I took a look down to line to measure my success and to my dismay, someone was a few bites out from victory. With a full donut on my plate I had to take advantage of the NO RULES rule and get rid of it. I’m not proud of it, but I came here to do one thing, and it wasn’t to come in second.
After my donut maneuver I was back neck and neck with the leader, who was kneading his portions like pizza dough and inhaling it as such. I took a more reckless route and had a soupy plate from my rations of water used to break down the cream.
At the end I had nothing more than a strawberry banana water cream soup left in the bowl. I didn’t have the time or the stomach to withstand drinking that concoction, so instead of doing so and blowing chunks in front of the crowd, I simply poured it on myself and took it to go.
I was the first person with a clear plate, so technically speaking, I won the Manory’s Ice Cream Eating Competition. Officially speaking, I was disqualified for something about not being able to throw the donuts on your plate across the street and pretend nobody noticed? Weird, I don’t remember that in the rulebook.
Regardless, the winner of the event is not the point of the event, it’s the cause. In this case the Italian Community Center’s soup kitchen, which we raised a couple hundred dollars for…So at the end of the night, we’re all eatin’ good and that’s what’s important.
P.S. I owe Manory’s a new plate.